Life » Random Reflection

Simplicity

Aug 012011

Simplicity in life is something I find myself often longing for. In the age where technology has apparently simplified the work we do, life has seemed to get so complicated. Where pen used to be put to paper to convey thoughts and words were carefully planned, we now text letters that replace words, often with little thought. In our simplifying life has become chaotic. We must do things faster, more often, better then ever before. The skill of multitasking is a must have to simply function.

As I write my mind is heavy and full. It carries the weight of all the must be done. The essential tasks needing completion for work, for running the household, for just getting by each day. It carries the burden of raising little boys, being a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Knowing that time is not on my side when it comes to investing in all that is most important. At least not to invest in the way my heart longs to be invested in those I hold most dear.

The simple art of brewing tea in a tea pot. The penmanship and artistry required in the use of a fountain pen as it forms words on beautiful paper. The art found in poetry and song. When my mind is heavy with task I find myself loosing appreciation for the moments in life, the beauty found in making that cup of tea. Instead I struggle to not have phone in hand and access to email or text, technology that allows me to do while being. I find in that multitasking I am loosing the art of simply being.

So here I am back to longing for a simplicity in my days. A simplicity that allows me to simply be present in the moment that is now.

In order that the beautiful might be discovered

Children, Family, Life No Responses »

Jul 022011

My four year old loves to create art. Cut and paste with scissors and glue, draw with crayons, pencils or markers, paint. Today his preferred method for his creative expression was paint. Paint is messy and I don’t do so well with messy. I love to watch him as he gets lost in the moment of personal expression; I cringe at the mess that goes along with that. Lots of paper towels close by just in case.

Sometimes life is messy. While I would prefer neat, clean and orderly I am beginning to embrase more of the messy. Messy things sometimes are a needed step in the process to uncover the beautiful. To allow the beautiful to be created. When I stop trying to keep life clean and orderly I open myself up to a whole new world of beautiful.

Allowing my son to get messy, to create a mess in his process of creating art and personal expression is so important. The messy things in my life might very well be an important process to uncovering my true inner beauty; in the image of my creator.

While I will never enjoy the messy things I am learning to appreciate the value. Understanding that in the right environment the mess is not without purpose.

It’s the little things!

Faith, Life 1 Response »

Jun 232011

Maybe it is just me and I am crazy. I would rather hold on to the idea that I am not the only one suffering from drama induced crisis caused by lots of little unimportant occurrences.

The great big life changing events and crisis come along. There may be a pause to absorb but for the most part I naturally go to those old faithful verses such as 2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Grace, Strength and the Power of Christ step in and carry me in those times of weakness.

Yet when the days seem normal and routine, it’s the little things that catch me. My self induced dramatic meltdowns over, well let’s face it, nothing earth shattering. When you really step back and take a look there are generally easy solutions at worst or at best there isn’t really anything that needs solving. It’s just a matter of remembering what matters most. But here I am yelling at my kids, fussing at my husband or on a good day sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor crying. Why?

Because my house is a mess, the laundry is piled high, the washer won’t start while the three times rescheduled repair is four days away. Because the boys are loud, climbing everything and anything, their handprints, shoe prints and face prints on every piece of furniture, door and window in the house. Because toys are everywhere and I stub my toe (and it hurts). Because when I answer “No” to a question I get back a list of twenty five reasons why the answer I really meant to give was “yes”. Because all of a sudden I heard myself repeated in the words of my child; I did not like what I heard. Because I went to the store for the fifth time this week and still forgot the milk (which was the very reason I went in the first place). Because dinner did not turn out as planned, it did not happen at all or better yet the take out order was totally wrong. Because my prescription wasn’t ready on time, the gas light in the car was on and I was late for an appointment. Because everyone needs something and “mommy” and “I want” are said in the same breath WAY too often. Because life gets messy.

It’s the little things! The everyday, routines of life all strung together that can steal the joy and peace. Alone they have little power to take me down. However, one at a time they gradually begin to weave themselves in and out of the day. Sneaking in little by little until that moment when that last “little” thing hits and meltdown mode begins. The Ugly, UnChrist like comes out and the worry, stress or fretting over those ‘little things’ steals the joy for that day.

As I reflect upon how quickly I allow the random stresses, those inconvenient, often frustrating and even difficult moments to allow me to loose sight of what matters most; I do not like what I see. I want His Grace to be sufficient in ALL things, big and little. My desire is to reflect Christ in me through my responses to all that life throws my way.

It is a journey that is just begun and has a long way to go. As the laundry continues to pile up, schedules interrupted and as toys continue to trail across the floors I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

As I attempt to be more aware of those “little” moments and “joy stealing” circumstances in each day may I be intentional in seeking out Christ’s words as my reminders and my strength when I am weak.

Luke 12:25-28 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

I have lived…..

Life, Spiritual No Responses »

May 292011

I have lived in that place of discontentment. Holding on tightly to the lies that would have one believe the “If only” statements.

If only this debt was paid off…

If only we had a better house…..

If only I didn’t have to face this illness……

If only we had, didn’t have, could do, didn’t have to do……LIFE WOULD BE BETTER.

I have lived the lie that everyone else is…..

Happier …. Content ……. Secure …….. Self Confident

I have resisted the guidance towards making the best choices. Resenting the long, difficult roads and often less traveled paths that doing the “right thing” can require.

I have believed that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. That keeping up with the “Jones” is a valid pass time.

Focused on the external things of this world life can quickly become overwhelming. The “if only” thoughts keep me living for a future that never arrives rather than fully in my present. The “everyone else” comparisons are built on outward impressions not realities. The hardest roads traveled are often the ones with the greatest blessings found at the end. The grass is never greener and the “Jones” are never worth keeping up with.

Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Where is my heart? Where is my focus? Where am I building my treasure?

May the answer be on all things that matter for eternity. May I continually fight the “if only’s”, the “everyone else” and may I travel the hard roads with humility and grace.

Ephesians 4:22 “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self,which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Today was a good day

Family, Life No Responses »

May 072011

“Today was a good day Mom” That is how my four year old ended the day yesterday. He had spent the afternoon with friends, had a sitter (which is way cooler than mom) and the evening with more friends at a birthday party. In his world a day spent with friends is a good thing, a blessing.

Currently I am in the process of reading the book “One thousand gifts” by Ann Voskamp. An amazing read. One that is challenging me to pay attention to the blessing so easily missed. As I begin to take note of the blessings in my life I have realized how many of them are connected to people, to relationships. My husbands thoughtfulness in cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, a true blessing for this tired mom. Watching my boys play together; the older caring for the younger while the younger imitates the older. Birthday wishes from friends. Girls Night Out. Play Dates. Long conversations with my Mom or Dad. Dates with my husband. Strawberry Cream Cup Cakes shared with a friend. Watching the kids work through their own conflict without intervention. Neighbors who pull up our trash cans on trash days from the side of the road and bring up the Sunday paper. And on and on my list is growing.

Life these days can get crazy with activity and just the doing of everyday life is enough to overwhelm at times. How easy it is to be so busy we forget or miss opportunities to invest in people, in relationships. How quickly I push aside a request from my son for time in favor of completing a task. How easy to believe there is not time to be found on the calendar for lunch dates or dinner dates with my husband. How opportunities for building friendships are missed because we do not plan ahead to make room in our busy schedule. Or missed opportunities with our neighbors because we are always on the go and never at home.

There is blessing all around us. The sun similes down warm rays upon us. The gentle breeze blows through the trees. The music of nature heard as the birds sing in harmony around us. There is much that we can discover when we open our eyes and become intentional about seeing, focusing on the gifts God has given. For me when the day ends I am discovering my greatest blessing coming from people, from my relationships with people. Even when the rain pours and the sun is no where to be found, running in the rain with a friend seeking shelter is far more fun than doing it alone. When the storms are fierce and the power is gone, adventure can be found camping out by candle light with the kids. When there is illness or trials that seem overwhelming encouragement comes with a meal delivered with such love and care of friendship.

Today we celebrated our second annual May Day Brunch (our new tradition of welcoming Summer and Friendship). The true blessing of spending time with friends, enjoying casual conversation, good food, watching the kids play and yes the sun smiling down warmth upon us. This evening was family time. Simply being together and finding pleasure in watching the boys interact with their world around them is a blessing. So as my four year old would say “Today was a GOOD day”. For it was a day spent with people, building relationships and the blessing all that brings.

Original Artwork

Children, Life, Spiritual 1 Response »

May 052011

Words written like poetry, stories told as if painting a picture before my eyes.

I see art and I long to be an artist.

Long ago I labeled myself with the title “business professional”. Clean lines, tailored suits and closed toed shoes seemed to fit me better. Others have identified art in me. Only just enough talent however to appreciate art. Never enough to consider myself an artist. Never feeling comfortable with any true flow of creative expression. Always admiring from a distance the true ARTISTS.

Today I watched my four year old struggle with art. I asked him to create a picture using crayons, markers or pencils. Anything he wanted. He has shown talent for being able to just create, he is creative. Today however he was hindered by this simple request. The pressure to make something special did not allow him to just enjoy what can come naturally. I watched as he became increasingly frustrated by his inability to recreate. He wanted to reproduce something. A copy of a picture he has seen not an original of his own making. He starts over and over, paper after paper started but never finished and tossed aside because it is not right. Rather than embracing what is his to make he is attempting to force the recreation of someone else’s art.

In my watching I am challenged. How easy it is to cross the line from being inspired by others to trying to recreate, copy or reproduce others art in our own lives. We see others talents and desire that talent. We see others accomplishments and strive to achieve. We hear what program has worked for them and we attempt to incorporate that very same program into our routine. Personally I want to be inspired by others. I enjoy reading the words written like poetry and watching pictures being created with words, with paint, with camera’s. Reading others storis and journeys can be inspirational. I long for inspiration, encouragement and hunger to learn. Yet I must remind myself while being inspired, learning and applying the learnings to do so without plagiarism. Uniquely and wonderfully I have been created. Created by the Master Artist to accomplish His Good and Perfect Work. Inspiration, encouragement and learning from others can be wonderful and a part of who we are becoming. But I must not plagiarize others art, others lives. All my learning must be added to my tool box. It must fit in with my coloring crayons and my markers, with my pen and paper, my calculator. From there must I allow my natural and God given gifts and talents to flow and create. It may look like numbers balanced on a spread sheet, it may be not so poetic words written on paper but it will be original.

Whatever my artistic expression, it must be mine not my attempt to recreate someone else in their art.

Psalm 139: 11-16

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

Play Dates

Children, Life No Responses »

Apr 082011

We sit on the floor surrounded by toys and active play. Conversation is interrupted by the need to place a toy in time out (due to irreconcilable difference by parties involved in the playing with toy). We have just remembered what we were talking about when we are once again interrupted by the need for diaper changes, mediating disputes and providing more supplies for whatever game is being played. We are tired and find it easy to wish away these days, the demands and chaos of these days. It will be nice when they are in school and we can have lunch together in peace, maybe even get through a conversation without forgetting what we started talking about.

On a different day when we are not so tired and worn down we realize the blessings that have been found in these crazy days. Our oldest have been friends since they were tiny babies, our youngest have never known life without each other. The depth of our friendship has been formed over years of sitting on the floor managing the chaos of little ones playing. Sadly or not so sadly depending on the day our little ones are getting older. Play dates have been rescheduled around preschool and other activities. And while we long for moments of peace and uninterrupted conversations those times will come at a cost. It is already harder to schedule trips to the science center, picnics at the park, rainy days in the play room. There will be different schools, different interests and different friends. The reality is that we will look back and miss these days. Times of simply sitting on the floor in the middle of chaos watching our little ones learn how to interact in their tiny world. We will miss those conversations started and never finished, the bonding that comes with supporting one another through sleepless nights, potty training and sibling rivalry.

In these past months there has been a realization that while life with little ones at times feels crazy and exhausting, it has been a relational blessing. Friendships have been formed in unexpected places, casual relationships have become strong friendships, co-workers friends and friends have become like sisters. And in many cases these relationships have been build stronger over play dates with our kids. Sitting on the floor in the middle of chaos we have found common interests, similar struggles, encouragement and strength. Most of the time we fail to realize the value we are gaining. We arrive having struggled to get everyone out of the house and on time. We leave exhausted and ready for naps, mommy naps.

As our little ones grow the dynamics of play dates will change. For now may we be constantly reminded of the blessing found in this stage of life. The come as you are, no expectations, tears and exhaustion accepted times spent sitting on the floor in the middle of chaos is building friendships that hopefully will last a life time.

Rain Boots

Children, Life No Responses »

Apr 052011

I watch him as he struggles to put on rain boots. He is determined that he shall wear his brothers boots. These boots are not his size, they are much too big for him. His own rain boots, the ones that fit him, the ones that are perfect for him have been tossed aside. They are not the pair he wants to wear. He wants to wear his brother boots. They are better.

Eventually he gets them on and he is so very proud of his achievement. I look down and see that they are on the wrong feet, but they are on. Now what? Ready to go?

He attempts to stand up with these WAY TOO BIG rain boots on his feet. Only to have them fall right off. He finds himself struggling to stand or to keep his balance. His own rain boots still there saying “pick me, I am the right size”. Soon he is able to balance and reposition himself on the floor. Instead of reaching for his own rain boots, the ones that fit, he starts over. Once again putting on his brothers rain boots. After all he wants to be just like his big brother.

I watch my little guy over and over attempt and fail to wear his big brothers rain boots. His own perfectly good rain boots tossed to the side. He is determined to wear them but no matter how hard he tries they are not yet the right size for him, they do not fit his tiny feet.

How often do I look at the shoes someone else is wearing and wish they were my own? How often do I attempt over and over again to wear rain boots that are yet too big for me? Watching my youngest today I was reminded of how easy it is for me to be discontent with things in my life. How easy is it to look at others and work so hard to be just like them? Meanwhile my rain boots, the ones just my size, the ones that already fit me perfectly have been tossed to the side. Instead of being able to get up and move forward I remain on the floor trying in vain to wear something that has not been made to fit me.

If only I would realize that I can go so much farther when I put on the boots that were made to fit me rather than trying to walk in someone else’s shoes.

Quiet Moment!

Life 1 Response »

Apr 042011

Today is a beautiful day. There is a spring wind blowing through the open windows; the warm sunshine fills the room. One little boy in preschool, the other napping and the house is quiet. This is mommy time. How often in these quiet moments I rush to do, forgetting the value of simply being. The task list is long and never ending, the demands of everyday life calling out loudly. In an effort to be all that I feel I should be I start the “doing” of life and it begins to take over the “living”. Not today. Today in this quiet moment I will not allow the tasks at hand to manage my time. Rather I shall sit in the quiet, listening to the sounds of nature and enjoy the beauty of Gods creation. I shall take deeps breaths, allowing my mind to be still and my spirit to be renewed. I shall rest in the presence of My Creator.

“Be Still and Know that I am God…….” -Psalm 46:10

Driving Habits

Life No Responses »

Mar 282011

I have a confession: I am a driver. No, I am not talking about the fact that I have a valid drivers license. Rather I am referring to the way I approach life. Up ahead I see a destination and without thinking I figure out the quickest and best way to get there. Tasks are to be managed, challenges to be taken on and obstacles need to be overcome. My response to life is one of action rather than inaction.

There are seasons where I have seen this as a positive and seasons where it felt like a weakness. These days I am learning to acknowledge how God has made me. To accept the strengths and seek balance and growth in the weaknesses. When I am focused on the destinations in life I find that I often arrive not remembering how I got there. Not having found any value in the journey and possibly missing road signs along the way.

In life there are rules of the road, we take drivers education and there are laws. Not to prevent us from getting where we need to go but to help us ALL get there safely. The same can be true in life. Some of us have issues with speeding. We are focused on the destination and keep our foot heavy on the gas peddle. Driving this way causes us to miss important road signs telling us to slow down, get off, detour, turn around or stop. Others of us are so worried about breaking the rules of the road that we drive with extreme caution and very little speed. While focused on all the rules we are not noticing the traffic backed up behind us or the scenery along the way.

I am learning to appreciate that God made me who I am with a purpose. I want to embrase that rather than hide from it. My desire is to learn how to manage my speed. Noticing the road signs along the way and paying attention to the journey, not just the destination. I believe there are seasons in our lives. The speed in which we drive will not be the same for all of us or even in all seasons. There will be times we need to step on the gas and push ourselves out into traffic. There may be times when we need to simply move over into the slow lane. And yes, there may even be times when we are called to simply STOP.

For me it is a daily battle to remember that Life is about more than arriving at a destination. How I drive is important. There is much of value to be found in the journey itself.

Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha

Random Reflection

Simplicity

In order that the beautiful might be discovered

It’s the little things!

I have lived…..

Today was a good day

Original Artwork

Play Dates

Rain Boots

Quiet Moment!

Driving Habits

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