Adventures With A Chronic Illness – Page 4 – Random Reflection

June 17, 2020

Am I living a life that would hurt like hell to leave?

I sit out on the back deck, feet propped up on the table. The birds are singing, the sun shines warm and I can even smell the scent of the garden. Honeysuckle! It smells like honeysuckle. The other day I had listened to an older podcast. A Kate Bowler podcast from 2018 titled Costly Love,…

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June 8, 2020

Words not required

Walking in the door after a late Sunday afternoon walk the boys were chatty and energized. There was playful banter going on and yet I could not engage at that moment. Needing to start dinner I had to turn all my focus to the job at hand. My body is worn out and my brain…

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joy.marker

✍️Writing hope-filled words of reflection.
🌅 Cultivating beauty in every season.

In the early morning hours I sit, coffee freshly b

In the early morning hours I sit, coffee freshly brewed and poured into a beautiful gift from a preschool friend.

On this particular morning, I pick a spot facing east, hoping to catch an early glimpse of the sunrise.

I sit with words freshly printed on pages from my friend @sarah_westfall. Words I find are asking me to read them slow and give them space to breathe encouragment in to my soul.

It is the end of another school year, and my mind and body are weary. I find tears form as I read Sarah's reminder that, "Our weariness reorients us to his (God's) welcome, and our hollow spaces become holy places for Love to dwell."

Blessed with an advanced copy of The Way of Belonging, I find the timing of these words a gift, a reminder that it is not my accomplishments or doing but my presence that God desires. I do not need to strive to belong.

And, God whispers, "REST"

I close the book, pick up my coffee mug, allowing words to sit as I wait for the Sun.

Friends, this book releases June 11th, but don't wait, go ahead and pre-order a copy because this is a book that will help us reimagine who we are and how we relate.

The sunrise does not come in the way I had hoped for. The sky is once again covered in grey, but it is light outside now. The light always comes one way or another.

May we pause from the busy schedules and allow our overwhelmed souls to be filled with Love.

#randombookrwview #belonging #thewayofbelonging

I consider May to be a transition month, moving us

I consider May to be a transition month, moving us from Spring into Summer.

Transitions can be challenging for those of us who love steady rhythms. Yet, with transition months comes opportunity—an opportunity to pause and consider.

This week, in Throughout The Seasons, I'm pausing to consider how I practice the kind of person I want to be. Who I am and who I am becoming.

Have you ever paused to consider how the rhythms and routines of our ordinary days are forming us?

As a task person, I can easily turn the idea of practice into a list of do's and don'ts, tasks to achieve, and things to accomplish. I have to intentionally fight against developing a rigid structure, remembering that practices are fluid with the seasons of life.

So, as I prepare to move from Spring into Summer, I pause to consider.

What in my life is forming me, influencing who I am? What am I practicing? Who am I becoming?

Join me on Substack, link in bio, to read the full reflections: you are and you are becoming.

#randomreflection #throughouttheseasons #seasons #spring #transitions #becoming #practice

A Prayer as we practice the rhythm of our days. M

A Prayer as we practice the rhythm of our days.

May we not be content with saying this is who I am, but desire to continue becoming.

May we be intentional in our practices, rhythms, and routines, considering how they form us.

May we find spiritual practices less about rules to follow and more about opportunities for a relationship to grow.

As we plant beautiful seeds, may we see you, God, grow beautiful things from our lives.

#randomreflection #aprayer #practice #becoming #seasons #spring

It's National Teacher Day! We are losing good te

It's National Teacher Day!

We are losing good teachers at a rapid rate, and there are a thousand different reasons why. I could fill pages with words on the state of education, but that's not what today is about. Today is about recognizing and thanking the teachers planting beautiful seeds, especially those planting in challenging conditions and hard soil.

While teacher gifts are always appreciated, as an educator, I can tell you what touches a teacher's heart most: handwritten notes and, from younger ones, the proudly made art.

(Honestly, most teachers would appreciate a reply to a class email to know someone read their communication.)

The seeds a teacher plants don't always start to bloom on their watch; these seeds are often slow-growing. And, when you pour your heart out day in and day out, it's nice to know that someone notices and get some feedback on occassion.

So, to all my teacher friends, I want to say Thank You.

I see you.
You are so appreciated.
You are changing the world one child at a time.
What you do matters.
Keep planting beautiful seeds.

#nationalteacherday #beautifulseeds #teachers #educators

It's hard to believe we've already arrived at May

It's hard to believe we've already arrived at May and are just weeks away from the end of this school year.

May can be challenging;

- as an educator May is packed full of year-end activities and let's face it, the kids are done learning and we teachers have been worn down.

- as a parent the May calendar fills with not only year-end activities, recognitions, performance and graduations but also planning and meetings to prepare for summer activities and even fall.

Looking at the May calendar I find myself easily overwhelmed. It would be so easy to get lost in the tasks, checking off the to-do list.

My phone alerts me to an overflow of pictures, one more task to handle; delete some pictures to free up space. And as I start scrolling, my heart begins to fill with the beauty of all the ordinary moments captured.

And, I realize I do not wish for the overwhelming calendar to rob me of the joy of the beautiful ordinary moments of the days. I wish to cherish the final days of this school year and celebrate what matters most.

May we fight against the demands of what feels urgent, to be present in the moments that ultimately matter most.

The photo was found as I scrolled, credit going to one of my preschool photographers.

#ramdomreflections #may #seasons #endofschoolyear #spring #ordinaryeveryday #beautifulthings

I can easily be drawn into the feeling that there

I can easily be drawn into the feeling that there is a bigger and better story out there. And yet, I have watched people do amazing things, big things while overlooking the smaller stories closer to home.

We need people who are brave enough to do big things, and yet I can't help but think we must not do so at the expense of our ordinary lives at home.

We can change the world, but if the price of changing the world and writing big stories leaves our home unattended, perhaps we have failed to recognize our most significant impact.

If we are called to write big stories, may we always keep a close watch over the smaller stories written in our homes.

And for those of us who feel our stories are too small, too ordinary, may we recognize the beauty and significant things that small but deep roots grow over time.

#randomreflections #ordinarydays #beautifulthings #deeproots

April has gifted us a fair amount of rain. Which m

April has gifted us a fair amount of rain.
Which my butterfly garden is loving.

In between rainy days, I'm trying to get out and manage some weeds. But let's face it, when most of your garden is made up of weeds to feed the butterflies and bees, weeding can be a challenge.

The truth is I have no idea what I'm doing.

Every year, I add some new plants, scatter some butterfly and bee friendly wild seeds and then wait to see what beautiful things grow.

I still get out to tend, pulling the weeds that threaten to take over or spread outside the garden plot. But, let's face it, by the end of May I've generally lost all control.

For this recovering try-hard, control obsessed girl, gardening has gifted me a new perspective on what beautiful things can come when we .....

Plant

Tend

And release the outcome that was never ours to carry.

So friends, in this season known for planting, let's scatter beautiful seeds, tend where needed, but be brave enough to release control and see what beautiful things begin to grow.

#randomreflections
#butterflygarden
#scatterbeautifulseeds
#gardeningseason

Do you ever feel as if your life is small? Your co

Do you ever feel as if your life is small? Your contribution to the world insignificant?

When we think of making a difference, we often think big. Considering ways we can volunteer and use our time and resources to make the world a better place. And those can be beautiful and good callings.

Yet, the reality is that most of us live seemingly small and ordinary lives, and writing beautifully deep and significant stories happens as we begin to see the beauty in the mundane work of tending the garden, cooking meals, washing dishes, or reading one hundred bedtime stories every night.

This week on Throughout The Seasons on Substack, we're reflecting on our Small but beautifully Deep stories. Follow the link in my bio to join us there.

#randomreflections #throughouttheseasons #beautifulthings #ordinarydays #smallbutdeep

A Prayer for our Ordinary Days: May we not be so

A Prayer for our Ordinary Days:

May we not be so blinded in our pursuit of bigger and better stories that we miss the depth of small, ordinary moments.

May we be faithful to write the stories we are living well, starting in our homes and communities.

May we be content with the ordinary and see value in growing deep roots.

May we seek to write beautifully small but deep stories, that we allow you, God, to grow in ways we never imagined.

#randomreflection #smallbutdeep #ordinarydays #beautifulthings

Thank you friends for all the birthday wishes and

Thank you friends for all the birthday wishes and love shared throughout this week.

One of the gifts of growing older is the expanse of friendships and diversity of community grown through the years.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for such a beautiful community that I get to do life with.

Some of you have been life long friends, some as far back as the day I was born, or soon after. Others of you, our paths have intersected along the way and while our physical paths may have diverged our friendship remains. Then there is the gift of local friends, doing life with me in the present moments. And while for some, our physical paths have never crossed or the intersection has been brief, our friendship has grown with time in these virtual spaces.

Community and friendship grow in various ways and the diversity and uniqueness makes life beautiful and interesting.

Today, I was gifted a day with my bestest friend, @a.t.marker. And our adventures have filled my heart with thoughts and words that now ask to be held close and for time to marinate before shared.

But, amidst our adventures, I wanted to stop in and say, thank you.
And remind you, you are so very loved and appreciated.

❤️

#randomreflection
#thisisfifty
#friendship

A name had been chosen: I was to be Elizabeth Ann,

A name had been chosen: I was to be Elizabeth Ann, but as a good Southern girl, I would go by Beth Ann. And then, my mother went into labor, and things did not go as planned.

It seems I was reluctant to enter this world and made my mother endure a difficult labor. In his youthful wisdom, my father decided to encourage my mother by quoting scripture. As you can imagine, my mother was not all that impressed with this method of encouragement during her challenging labor, but one verse lingered.

"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

I was born in the morning, and I was named Joy.

A well-known fact is that the name Joy means "joy" or "rejoicing."

My name is often associated with happiness and a sense of well-being, and I am told that people with this name are known for their positive outlook on life and ability to find joy in even the smallest things.

(Side note: A friend once stated that I am the only person she knows who can get excited about spotting an opossum across the street.)

A name can be just that, a name, a word your parents liked. But it can also be part of your story, the foundation for the person you are and are becoming.

As I enter my fifth decade of life, I find myself reflecting on the story of my name, who I am, and who I wish to be.

Such a small word, only three letters, and yet such big shoes to fill.

Life has been and can be painful. We can have a plan, a name picked out, and then the unexpected can change that plan. But joy comes; we can find joy in the ordinary moments and the smallest gifts.

#birthdayreflections #thestoryofaname #yourstorymatters #thisisfifty

I am content to be the age that I am; age is just

I am content to be the age that I am; age is just a number.

And yet, as I approach my double golden birthday, I find myself grieving. Not because I am getting older but because I feel my life does not match my expectations for this age.

As a planner, I tend to create unspoken expectations about how things should be at certain stages.

Yet, looking back, unexpected life situations have been my most dedicated teachers; they have taught me that it is okay, even necessary, to grieve, but not so much so that you fail to appreciate the beauty of what you have.

It's my birthday week, so over on my substack, Throughout The Seasons, I'm sharing some random reflections on turning fifty and living an unexpected life. You can join me by following the link in my bio.

#randomreflections #throughouttheseasons #spring #turning50 #unexpectedlife

It's World Book Day, and well, I love books. In fa

It's World Book Day, and well, I love books. In fact, this year, I've already read over twenty books, and while many have been good, few have inspired me to fill my notebook with notes and quotes. That is until I began reading Live Slowly by @jodi.grubbs

I pre-ordered this book as soon as it was available, and as part of her launch team, I was gifted the opportunity to read her words before its April 30th release. And well, I have been filling my notebook with notes and quotes of inspiration.

So, if you find yourself craving space for your soul to breathe and a slower rhythm to your days, I highly recommend you go ahead and order Jodi's book, Live Slowly.

#randombookrecommendation #booklaunch #worldbookday #liveslowlybook #slowliving #liveslowly #spaceforyoursoultobreathe #liveslowlybook
.

Four years ago, the world as we knew it took a for

Four years ago, the world as we knew it took a forced pause.

While humans faced grief upon grief, nature took a deep breath in relief.

During this pause from regular routines, pollution was reduced, wildlife thrived, and nature showed us her resilience.

Four years have passed, and not only have we returned to our old routines, but we find ourselves holding different griefs—some human-made and others nature's rebellion.

How quickly we forget the gifts given in nature and our calling to "Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth." How easily we take nature's beauty for granted.

Recently, I have stumbled across memories from our forced pause, reminding me of what was beautiful that season. I remember how nature thanked us for our slower pace and quieter lives.

So, on this Earth Day, I wanted to take you on a trip with me down memory lane, with an Earth Day Video we made for our preschool friends. Follow the link in my bio, and don't forget to #reduce #reuse and #recycle.

Keep planting beautiful seeds and watch how they grow.

#randomreflection #earthday #beautifulthings #nature #seasons

I am currently reading and absolutely loving the b

I am currently reading and absolutely loving the book Live Slowly by @jodi.grubbs. It is a book that is speaking beautiful words to my soul.

Today, I stumbled upon words I had written a few years back.

What I wrote:

I am learning

- to release expectations for what I believe should be and embrace the reality of what is.

- that slowing down does not equal giving up or coming to a complete stop.

- that stillness is as much a mindset as a physical posture.

- that while I plant and tend with care, growth will happen in its own time and way.

- that rest is not lazy, nor is it passive, and it is possible to be well-rested while physically active.

- that community and solitude are best when practiced in rhythm, one with the other.

- for every yes, there is a no, and it is wise to consider both in our decision-making.

- that it is perfectly ok to change course; life is not meant to be stagnant.

- that limitations can serve as guideposts instead of obstacles to overcome.

More thoughts today:

Learning is a lifelong practice, not an "oh, I got this now I'm done."

While some of these lessons I practice better than others, I'm still very much in need of practice and reminders.

To Live Slowly, can feel like swimming against the current, some days I find myself forgetting to swim and allow the current to take me where it may.

Jodi's book and her words arrived in their perfect time. A reminder that I very much wish to swim, even if I must swim against the tide.

If you find yourself craving a slower more sustainable pace of life, but it feels to much to keep swimming against the current, get yourself a copy of Live Slowly, you can pre-order it now and it releases April 30th.

#randomreflection #liveslowly #lifelonglearner #community #solitute #slowgrowth #tending #planting #rhythms #bestyes #rest #stillness #listening #limitations #change #embrace

A Prayer for the challenging or unexpected life:

A Prayer for the challenging or unexpected life:

As we face life's challenges and navigate unexpected detours, Lord help us to name and grieve what is hard, but not at the cost of forgetting the beauty of our life.

May we not define our life by age, stage, accomplishments, or perceived failures.

May we remember to count the gifts of the ordinary days.

May we recognize that life is not a race in which we are ahead or behind; instead, we are exactly where we need to be at this time.

#randomreflections #throughouttheseasons #spring #turning50 #unexpectedlife

As we finish out this busy week, Heading into a, p

As we finish out this busy week,
Heading into a, perhaps, busy weekend.

May we find moments of quiet
Making space for our souls to breathe.

Remembering......................

The world is loud, full of noise, endless input.
The world is busy, full schedules, endless tasks.

A quiet life is not a secluded life.
A quiet life is not a lazy life.

We quiet the noise not to stop hearing.
We quiet the noise so we can hear the heartbeats.

We slow down not to achieve less.
We slow down to achieve that which matters.

“To live a quiet life in a world of noise is a flight,
a war of attrition, a calm rebellion against the status quo.”
John Mark Comer - The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

#randomreflection #quietlife #eliminationofhurry #spaceforoursoulstobreathe #seasons #spring

I hear it all the time, statements such as, "I am

I hear it all the time, statements such as,
"I am not creative."
"I am not an artist."
And it makes my heart sad.

Look at the fields, the sunrise, and the sunset; do you see the creativity in the variation of the seasons?

We have been created by a creative God; just look at the diversity and beauty in this world. And we are invited to co-create beautiful things in this world.

You, my friend, are creative; perhaps the issue comes with your definition of creative. Creativity can be as simple as being involved in creating something unique to you, in the making of something new.

Art is not always a picture we hang on the wall.

Creating can look different in different seasons of our lives.

Perhaps your art is in tending your garden, planting new bulbs, and hoping to watch them grow throughout the summer.

My garden is always an artwork in progress, often crazy and out of control.

Perhaps your creative energy today looks like tending to cleaning your home or rising early enough to make your family breakfast before work or school.

Every season of life does not provide the space for grand works of epic proportions that we can proudly display. Yet, beautiful art flows freely when we see ourselves as artists in the ordinary everyday work before us.

You, my friend, are creative; you are an artist in your own unique way.

And

No matter the season of life you currently reside in, there is room for your creative soul to live. What art are you creating today?

#randomreflection #seasons #spring #art #creative #beautifulthings #ordinarydays

Without grace, love, and mercy, Chasing slow livi

Without grace, love, and mercy,
Chasing slow living is still chasing,
Elimination of hurry can find us living self-absorbed
and minimalism quickly becomes just another standard of perfection.

While the pursuit of slower living and being content with less can be a beautiful thing. (I am a huge fan of slow living, eliminating hurry and cozy minimalism), we can easily find ourselves having simply swung the pendulum from one form of pursuit to another. We can exchange the unachievable standard of achievement for an unattainable standard for perfection.

Lord,
In our desire to change, may we loosen our grasp on control rather than simply swing our pendulum in a different direction.

Help us to pause and consider our whys rather than simply move from one form of control to another.

Give us the courage to stand still, pause, or move against the flow of cultural norms.

Give us grace, love, and mercy for ourselves and others.

Amen

PS You can read more reflections on Chasing Slow on my substack this week, link to Throughout The Seasons in Bio.

#randomreflection #throughouttheseasons #chasingslow #eliminationofhurry #minimalism #grace #love #mercy

I am grateful to live in a place where I am surrou

I am grateful to live in a place where I am surrounded by community and yet walk a mile or two and find solitude in nature.

As an introvert I find myself craving moments of solitude and yet as a lover of community I value having people in close proximity.

If you are an extrovert, perhaps you crave community and yet understand the importance and value of solitude.

Whatever your natural tendency, both solitude and community have value. We need space for our souls to breathe and yet life is #bettertogether.

#randomreflections after a Sunday morning walk.

#nature #solitude #community #spring #seasons

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