In December, I began to journal through Katy Epling’s devotional book Life on Purpose. While Advent was a focus for the holiday season, I also wanted to set my heart in the right direction for the new year. On day sixteen, Katy says, “Live the season God has you in, and keep planning for what’s next.” There it was, another tension to hold between two opposites. Can we live fully present in this season while planning ahead to the next one?
Given all that we experienced in 2020, I am working hard to hold open hands this year. I’ve been spending a lot of mental energy looking at what it means to live fully present where I am at. Yet, while I hope to embrace the days as they come, I also know myself well enough to understand that I don’t function well without any structure, routines, or plans in place. So the question then becomes how does one plan ahead and live well in the current season?
“Live the season God has you in, and keep planning for what’s next.”
Katy Epling – Life on Purpose
As I reflect on this question, I realized I have already been working on the answers. I just hadn’t connected them before. The truth is that planning and organization can free us up to live well in the moments we have today. I am sure there are more great ideas out there, yet, here are five practices that I’ve found allow me to plan for what’s next while living the current season.
Planning To Be Flexible: This is one that I’ve mentioned before as it has been so helpful in my daily rhythms. Thinking about routines in terms of who I am becoming, rather than what I am doing, provides freedom. Over the years, I have learned to have plans to both reduce stress and allow for flexibility in my days.
With babies, this looked like restocking diaper bags when we came home, so I never had to worry about getting somewhere and not having something I needed. With each stage and age of my kids, we have adjusted routines to make sure we could be flexible and respond to the day. The mindset of flexible routines also looks like being able to change your exercise time because something else matters more at that moment. And not just being flexible but not giving up on the routine because you missed a day or two. It can be easy to say, “I can’t get my 30-minute workout in”, and then not work out. I prefer to reframe it as “I don’t have time for 30 minutes today, but I can go for a 10-minute walk or do 15 minutes of pilates.” Life doesn’t have to be either complete the schedule or throw the schedule out. Plan your routines to give your schedule flexibility.
Keep Margin in your schedule: This principle I have neglected on more than one occasion, and it has taken a toll on me both physically and emotionally. If we desire to respond to the day, make people a priority, and be the best version of ourselves, we need to know our capacity first.
There have been seasons in my life where I took on responsibilities or activities because my calendar said I had time. What I did not account for is that to be at my best, I need some alone time. I do best with people, including my family, when I have space in my week (better yet days) to process without interruption. When we fill our calendar without margin, we also remove the flexibility to respond when unexpected things arise. It’s sad when a friend calls asking you to have coffee and catch up, but you aren’t free to schedule her in for another two weeks. Just because there is a blank space on your calendar doesn’t mean you say yes. Plan margin into your routines.
Learn Ahead: As someone who loves to read and learn, I generally have a stack of books to be read and am always looking for opportunities to learn through webinars, classes, or conferences.
I read books about middle school before my first son’s feet entered middle school. Currently, I am adding books about transitioning to parenting older teens and young adults because that’s the stage we are preparing to live. I’m not learning ahead because I want to rush into that stage. Instead, I want to prepare ahead of time, to adjust expectations and routines, so we are ready to live fully present in a way that works well for the season of life we live.
Side Note: I love to read books from various perspectives and authors. It can be overwhelming if we approach learning with the mindset that we must apply all we learn. Framing your philosophy to gather the information that works for you and fits into your family dynamics is essential. You also don’t have to agree with everything someone says to take away and apply something that works for you. It’s important not to subscribe to someone else’s life. Instead, learn from others so you can live your best life.
Dream without attachment to the specifics of that dream: It’s hard when you dream about a career or accomplishing a specific goal and then have those dreams crushed. It’s also easy to get so focused on making a plan happen that you miss a few turns along the way. Or, you are forced onto unexpected roads and find yourself angry. Dreaming is important; having goals is a good thing, but……
As we recognize we don’t have much time with our kids at home, my husband and I have begun to dream about what the season of empty nesters might look like; seven years will go by quickly. But with that, we know it’s important to hold those dreams with open hands. The path ahead might look a little different than expected. Or maybe we aren’t dreaming big enough, and a different path will take us somewhere better. So as we dream about what our next right thing might be, we keep our steps small. We want to read the road signs along the way and make sure that each step is the right one.
Gratitude and Reflection: Gratitude is a key that unlocks so many doors in our lives. There is nothing like living a life focused on looking for the good in each day and naming the gifts to keep us grounded in the present. Yet, also taking time for reflection helps us better understand who we are. When we better understand ourselves, what has worked, what has been difficult, what might need to change, we move forward purposefully. Our next steps are intentional, not taken as a reaction to what is happening. Practicing gratitude and reflection does not have to be complicated or time-consuming. You might keep a journal, name, and count the gifts each day. You might choose to journal your reflective thoughts. But, remember writing things down isn’t the objective. Journaling is great for capturing thoughts and keeping reminders of what has gone before. But, to be most effective, we need to live daily with a heart of gratitude and a reflective posture.
For example, when we pay the monthly bills, we can grumble at the dwindling bank balance, or we can whisper a prayer of thanks that we could pay the bills and count it a gift. When we have a situation where we overreacted emotionally, we can pause and reflect—asking ourselves, what caused me to feel so strongly in that moment? What was the real trigger? Gratitude and reflection are best when we actively practice them throughout our day.
As a planner, I have recognized my tendency to become too structured, too attached to the plan. At the same time, I have watched friends struggle to enjoy the moments because they have no plan. We live in a culture that lends itself to living in reaction mode. What if we adjusted our perspective? What if we began to think of plans, daily rhythms, and routines as ways to live well a life lived on purpose?
