How to Sit With Hard Stories.

Recently, my friend Molly spoke at a women’s event. The theme was The God Who Sees You, and she shared the story of the Egyptian slave Hagar.

Hagar’s story is found in Genesis chapters 16 through 21; if you aren’t familiar with it, it’s a really challenging story to read. It is tempting to skip past the heavy parts of Hagar’s story, but Molly challenged us to sit with them. She invited us to see past the difficult narrative to instead see how God showed up and was faithful.

Fast-forward to our current days, and we find many stories that are challenging to accept. There is so much war, so many stories like Hagar, and natural disaster after natural disaster. It feels like our world is on fire; parts of LA County are actually on fire right now.

I don’t know about you, but I have been struggling to know how to sit with the hard stories, how to stay informed, not ignore what is happening in the world, yet not allow the weight of it all to consume me.

Molly’s recent invitation to sit with Hagar’s story reminded me that I need not gloss over the hard truths of my own story or the stories of others. I can even sometimes watch the news. Yet, instead of carrying the weight of the complex realities, I can focus on seeing how God is faithful.

So, how do we sit with the hard stories?

Here are a few things I am working on putting into practice.

Pray: In their retirement, my Grandparents set aside some serious time to pray every day. And while I admire and appreciate their rhythms, I’m not in a season of life that allows me such focused prayer time.

However, I am attempting to practice a rhythm of praying regularly in my day. When something or someone comes to mind or I hear a hard story, instead of carrying it with me, I pause, pray, and give it to God.

Look for the Good: Fred Rodgers told a story about how when he was a boy and saw scary things, his Mom would say, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people helping.”

It is so easy to focus on the tragic parts of the story, yet there is always good to be found. While not ignoring the difficult parts, we can be treasure hunters and beauty seekers, looking for what is beautiful and good in every story.

Be a Helper: We can’t physically attend to every tragedy or take on every cause. Yet, sometimes, we find causes or situations in which we can actively participate. There is something about helping others and shining a light in dark places that helps ease the weight of all that feels wrong in this world.

We don’t have to do all the things (we can’t), but we can intentionally look for opportunities to help others and shine light in dark places. And remember, even small acts of kindness matter.

Remember God Sees: In Genesis 16, Hagar runs away, and God meets her in the desert. Hagar responds to this encounter, saying, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

It is important to remember that God is with us even when we can’t see or feel it. Even when it feels as if the world is on fire, when it is actually on fire, God sees, and he has not forgotten those impacted. We can run from our stories like Hagar, but God will always come looking for us.

I am learning how to sit with the realities of challenging stories and to hold the grief of life lived. Yet, also not allow those things to consume me, to write the whole narrative of who I am and who I am becoming.

I am learning how to be present in the story but not consumed by it.