While we have only now fully emerged into spring, I am already finding myself preparing for summer activities and making decisions about our schedules for fall. I’m not sure how we got here so quickly.
When the boys were little, I loved planning for summers. I would make summer binders with printed calendars and space for memories for each boy. I would spend time reviewing all the fun activities we might attend at the library, all the camps available, the books we would read, the food we would cook, and make lists of new places we might want to visit.
Summers regularly began with swim lessons and ended with one final week of Wet and Wild camp at the pool before school started. We spent early morning hours tending the garden and playing at home before heading downtown, where we would bounce between the library, pool, or park, with the occasional visit to the local toy store, ice cream, or soda shop.
There was a rhythm to our summers, with the opportunity for slow mornings and plenty of play. There were slip n slides and buckets full of water balloons, sidewalk chalk, and endless bubbles to fill the in-between times. With after-dinner bike rides or family walks to the park when the evenings were cooler, summer was all about play and family time together.
In this season of parenting big kids, I now lack the same enthusiasm for summer plans. And I realize, in part, it is because the role I play has very much changed. I am no longer in charge of planning. Instead, I have transitioned to keeper and coordinator of schedules. The boys’ summer, without much thought, quickly filled with sports camps and youth camps they have requested to attend. There is little need to stock up on sidewalk chalk or an endless supply of bubbles.
As I complete registrations and place activities on the calendar, I know that we are saying goodbye to those lazy summer mornings and replacing them with early morning football practice. Swim lessons have been replaced with golf clinics and basketball camps. And those days long ago when I wished for the time I could lounge by the pool, the occasional observer of my boys play while I read my book, they quickly came and then moved on to a place where my presence is no longer required even at the pool.
Without much thought, I find myself spiraling into a state of depression as I realize my primary role will be that of uber driver for my boys, transferring them from one activity to another. Even this season is coming to an end soon. We are less than seven months away from having a teen driver. It seems that I have uncovered the perfect mindset for how NOT to enjoy planning for summer.
Begin with endless amounts of comparison related to what summer used to be, and mix it with anticipation of what summer will be, that you wish it were not, and you will find summer planning robbing you of all the joyful anticipation of summer.
Admitting the honesty of emotions and allowing the grief to be felt does not mean I want to spend my summer in this state of despair over my role as an uber driver. Perhaps, there is a better way to approach my mindset as I plan for summer. Maybe, instead of focusing on the loss of what was, I can focus on the gift of what is and figure out ways to scatter family fun into our summer days.
Yes, summer is full of already laid out plans, but how might we scatter making memories and family fun into our summer days?
Family bike rides on the river trails, game nights and movie nights, water balloon fights, roasting marshmallows and making smores, audiobooks, and treasure hunts are just a few things on my list to potentially fill our in-between times. What places might we explore, and what adventures might we find? What forced family fun might we add to our schedule? My boys may not always appreciate forced family fun, but hopefully, someday, they will look back on those memories with fondness.
And a bonus, the boys no longer require us 24/7, so what is that Andrew and I might want to do this summer, just for fun? I am beginning to think about the summer date nights and activities that the husband and I might want to enjoy, just the two of us.
We are in a season of transition between caring for littles and preparing to be empty nesters. And with transitions comes a shifting of mindset and opportunities for new rhythms. Questions for summer planning evolve from how will I keep the kids busy this summer to how might we make time for family and fun together while pursuing our individual interests?
Perhaps, you are still in the stage of parenting littles and asking yourself how you will keep the kids busy this summer. Or you might have already moved into a phase of an empty nester, where daily rhythms don’t shift much with summer. Regardless of the season you are in, might I encourage you to consider this one very important question:
What shall we do for fun this summer season?
While winter invites us to rest by doing less, and spring asks us to prepare for new growth, summer extends an invitation for us to remember how to play.
So if, like us, you are already deep into planning summer activities, don’t forget to add on to your to-do list: plan for fun.
Because it’s summer and the memories are just waiting to happen.
Author Unknown
