#Grief – Random Reflection

January 27, 2021

Grief, The Story That Never Ends Only Changes With Time.

January is more than just the beginning of a new year for me; it brings with it the anniversary of my journey with Multiple Sclerosis. This journey with Chronic Illness now traveled for two years. While some anniversaries (such as my wedding anniversary, which also falls in January) cause celebration, others bring up deep grief….

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August 3, 2020

We don’t have to wait for the hard season to be over before we start living well.

There was a plan, I had a plan. My thirtieth birthday was just a few years away and in my plan, it was time to start a family. Most of our peers had already started families, we had waited but now I was ready. But guess what? My plan wasn’t working. The doctor told me…

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joy.marker

Writing hope-filled words of reflection.
Cultivating beauty in every season.

Hundreds of pictures were taken last night in an a

Hundreds of pictures were taken last night in an attempt to capture this one moment in time.

Senior Prom.

Friendships formed at the beginning of childhood are still woven into these moments now. And as we capture the now moments a flood of memories of times gone by overwhelm our momma's hearts.

These are the final days before our seniors are launched into the world.

This is the countdown to the ending of this chapter, and the beginning of a new chapter waiting to be written.

These moments and all the ordinary everyday moments, we do not take for granted. These are memories we will soon hold dear.

#classof2025 #seniorprom #seniorsunday
@ben_marker

This is your friendly reminder: - to release expe

This is your friendly reminder:

- to release expectations for what you believe should be and embrace the reality of what is.

- slowing down does not equal giving up or coming to a complete stop.

- stillness is as much a mindset as a physical posture.

- while you plant and tend with care, growth will happen in its own time and way.

- rest is neither lazy nor passive, and being well-rested while physically active is possible.

- community and solitude are best when practiced in rhythm, one with the other.

- for every yes, there is a no, and it is wise to consider both in our decision-making.

- It is perfectly okay to change course; life is not meant to be stagnant.

- limitations can serve as guideposts instead of obstacles to overcome.

#randomreflection #seasons #spring #lifelonglearner #community #solitute #slowgrowth #tending #planting #rhythms #bestyes #rest #stillness #listening #limitations

I live in Kansas. There is always wind blowing i

I live in Kansas.

There is always wind blowing in Kansas, or at least it feels that way.

In Winter, the wind is generally unwelcome; it brings a bitter cold that cuts through and chills you down to your core.

In Summer, the wind is a welcome friend as it breaks through and cools you from the intense heat.

In Spring and Autumn, the wind dances in the in-between.

Depending on the season, the wind can carry us forward or toss us relentlessly about, but it will always come.

Yet, we do not wish to be tossed about by the ever-present and sometimes relentless winds.

With every season, we learn to adapt, anchor, or adjust our sail to what the wind blows our way. We set our sails to avoid being blown off course every time the wind changes.

"The same wind blows on us all; the winds of disaster, opportunity, and change. Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind, but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life."
John Rohn

#randomquote #randomreflection #seasons #spring #windsblow

This is 51. In my youth I thought my 50's would

This is 51.

In my youth I thought my 50's would be different.
Honestly, I thought I'd be old.

But now I'm here, in this decade,
old is not how I would describe myself.

Perhaps, I'd say, I'm more settled, more relaxed,
less driven to prove, to accomplish.

I'm definitely still learning, still growing, still becoming.

This is 51 and I can tell you, age is simply a number. How old you are is less about numbers and more about mindset.

#birthdayramblings #fifties #happybirthdaytome

It's Earth Day, and I'm feeling nostalgic. So, I

It's Earth Day, and I'm feeling nostalgic.

So, I thought we would revisit that time when teaching meant making videos for my preschool friends as we were staying safe at home.

This earth is our home. Tending and caring for it matters.
Don't forget to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.

#earthday #reduce #reuse #recycle #flashback2020 #preschoolscience #preschoollife

My Beloved I know you have become weary and feel

My Beloved

I know you have become weary and feel the weight of all that is not right in this world on your shoulders.

Instead of dwelling on confusion and anxiety, present your concerns to God in prayer. Be thankful, hold gratitude. Let your mind dwell on trustworthy, lovely, and good things.

Bring all your anxiety and fear to God, leave them with Him, and trust Him, for He cares deeply about you.

Hold your hands open, and let go of what is not yours to carry. You will not be able to explain your peace, for it is God's peace given to you.

(Isaiah 26:3, Matthew 11:28, John 14:27, Philippians 4:6-9, 1 Peter 5:7)

#randomreflection #peace #weary #anxiety #gratitiude

Flashback to Easter 2012. @ben_marker #seniorsu

Flashback to Easter 2012.
@ben_marker

#seniorsunday #classof2025
#spring #easter

I fell in love with preschoolers when my boys were

I fell in love with preschoolers when my boys were in that stage. I say I became a preschool teacher because my boys refused to stay that age.

In that season a walk was an adventure, a story to be told. A rock, a stick, a leaf was a treasure to be discovered.

Tiny Humans remind us to pay attention, to hold onto wonder and imagination.

If you are struggling to remember all that is good and beautiful in this world, might I suggest going on an adventure with a child.

It's Easter week, a season that reminds us of hope

It's Easter week, a season that reminds us of hope, renewal, and new life.

Yet everywhere we turn, the news is difficult to digest, and the stories told grieve our hearts.

So, we hold our grief, unanswered questions, doubts, and fears while searching for ways to hold hope without discounting today's harsh realities.

In our pause, we remember that Easter's story of hope came to us through thorns and mockery and was transfixed with nails.

"He who hung the earth upon the waters is hung upon the Cross
He who is King of the angels is arrayed in a crown of thorns.
He who wraps the Heavens in clouds is wrapped in the purple of mockery.
He who in Jordan set Adam free receives blows upon His face.
The Bridegroom of the Church is transfixed with nails.
The Son of the Virgin is pierced with a spear.
We venerate Thy Passion, O Christ.
Show us also Thy glorious Resurrection."
(Matins of Holy and Great Friday)

Friday's story was filled with grief, despair, uncertainty, and chaos.

But then Sunday came, reminding us there was more to the story yet to be told.

And we remember that the Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in us. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he gives life to our mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within us. (Romans 8:11)

Easter week stories hold a co-mingling of celebration, grief, and more celebration.

So, Friends, let's not let Friday's grief-ridden stories cause us to forget that Sunday always comes. That hope is always there, waiting to be found.

And remember, it's ok to hold two opposites together.

Grief and Hope can co-exist.

#randomreflection #easter #spring #hope #newlife #grief

Consider this your friendly reminder not to judge

Consider this your friendly reminder not to judge today by your accomplishments.

Be fully present with whatever today brings, scattering beautiful seeds along the path you walk.

As Robert Louis Stephenson said,
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”

#randomquote #throughouttheseasons #spring #scatterbeautifulseeds

Happy National Sibling Day, Pamela Quann and Lisa

Happy National Sibling Day, Pamela Quann and Lisa Smyth.

Maybe this summer, we'll have a chance for an updated sister picture. Or, we can just go with these old ones because we really haven't aged at all. 😉

#nationalsiblingsday

Instead of one word for all year, I have been pick

Instead of one word for all year, I have been picking a word to ponder each month. And for April, I picked Cheerful.

I'll be honest. I picked the word cheerful this month because, well, I am struggling to feel noticeably happy, optimistic, joyful, lighthearted, and uplifting.

Cheerful may not be the word we use to describe how we feel these days. But perhaps a cheerful disposition is precisely what we need.

"A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired."
Proverbs 17:22 (MSG)

While it's not as simple as telling ourselves to turn our frowns upside down, it is possible to cultivate a cheerful disposition, regardless of circumstance.

Let's take a deep breath, whisper a prayer, hold our hands open, and be mindful of the beauty in our ordinary days.

Let's focus on holding gratitude, counting our blessings, and while not ignoring what is difficult, choosing to look for the good, the helpers.

Let's surround ourselves with hope-filled words, encouraging friends, and practice radical joy.

Let's cultivate a cheerful disposition as if our lives depend on it. Not because we deny the reality of our war-torn world but as an act of rebellion, a refusal to let darkness win.

#randomrefection #throughouttheseasons #spring #wordtoponder #cheerful

When I first started gardening, I did a lot of res

When I first started gardening, I did a lot of research. I studied what plants grew best together and how best to ensure that what was planted grew.

Do you know what happened?

Some things grew, and other things did not. And what was successful changed from year to year.

I learned quickly that while I could plan, plant, and even tend, there were many factors in how things grew that were entirely out of my control. I also learned that gardening was way more fun if I let go of the outcome and simply enjoyed the process.

When we assume responsibility for outcomes, whether in our gardens, parenting, jobs, or other relationships, it becomes a heavy and often disappointing burden. The disappointment of outcomes may cause us to give up planting altogether.

But guess what?

I have some exciting news about planting and tending. The outcome is not our responsibility. We cannot control what happens with the seeds we plant.

As the apostle Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians, "My work was to plant the seed in your hearts, and Apollos' work was to water it, but it was God, not we, who made the garden grow in your hearts."
(1 Corinthians 3:6-9, TLB)

To read more reflections on Scattering Beautiful Seeds, head over to Substack (link in bio) to read this month's Throughout The Seasons.

#randomreflections #throughouttheseasons #spring #scatterbeautifulseeds #planting #tending #openhands #ordinarylife

It's Spring, and I'm eager to have a garden in ful

It's Spring, and I'm eager to have a garden in full bloom. Yet, I live in a climate where Winter tends to linger into Spring, and I have learned I cannot rush ahead too quickly.

It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that fast growth is better, that greatness comes from doing something great, that bigger is better, or that more social media followers equals more influence.

Without thoughtful intention, we can find ourselves caught in a hurried life as we strive for one achievement after another.

As a task-driven enneagram three, I have lived at an unsustainable pace. Eager to grow things, make plans, set goals, and strive for the next achievement. I have grown outwardly impressive while inwardly allowing my soul to wither away.

I thought I was growing into a beautiful flower, but I realized I was instead the flowering weed with roots that no longer sustained.

The pressure to grow flowers quickly is intense, yet the most crucial growth is often unseen and underappreciated. The unspectacular root system is critical to a sustainable life.

It may not always make for the best content on your social media feed or the most impressive stories to tell your friends. Nevertheless, faithfulness in the watering and nourishment as we slowly grow deep roots ultimately leads to a well-lived life.

So friends, when you feel the pressure of a hurried life, remember this: You have permission to live an unspectacular life. You have permission to grow slowly, developing deep, seemingly unspectacular, but strong roots. You have permission to love and value life's small and ordinary things.

Reflections inspired by the first chapter titled Permission to be Unspectacular in Jennifer Dukes Lee's book Growing Slow.

#randomreflections #throughouttheseasons #growingslow #deeproots #seasons #spring #ordinarylife

It's that time of year again. The time when the da

It's that time of year again. The time when the dandelions begin to appear everywhere.

And so I have to ask,
In this season, will you choose to see weeds or wishes?

Perspective Matters!

#randomreflection #seasons #spring #perspective #weeds #wishes

After my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I found

After my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I found myself seeking out ways to control an uncontrollable disease. Oh, I did not label it as control; rather, I was attempting to seek ways to live well despite this disease.

Perhaps I would be okay if I lived at a slower pace, ate the right things, did the right exercises, and had the correct mindset.

And here's the thing, none of those pursuits are bad. The danger was not in the changes themselves. The danger was in the mindset that, somehow, my actions would be enough to prevent the progression of this disease.

While my pursuit of healthy living at a slower pace helps me live better with MS, it can not itself prevent the continued progression of my illness.

The noise of current trends tells me that this particular diet will solve all my problems, this product is the solution, or perhaps I just need to reduce clutter or subtract expectations. And I find myself chasing the next best thing, always chasing.

Listening to others' advice, following the latest trend, and attempting to eliminate hurry, declutter our homes, and maintain a healthy lifestyle are not good or bad in and of themselves; they are just choices—choices that we hope will be good and positively impact our lives.

Yet, I have come to realize that,

Without grace, love, and mercy,
Chasing slow living is still chasing,
Elimination of hurry can find us living self-absorbed
and Minimalism quickly becomes just another standard of perfection.

So while the world continually offers advice and tells us new ways to live better, may we always take time to pause and consider our why rather than simply move from one form of control to another.

May we hold our hands open, offering grace to ourselves and others as we seek to live well in this one beautiful life we have been given.

#randomreflection #beautifulthings #ordinarydays #ordinarylife #chasingslow #eliminatinghurry #grace #love #mercy #msawareness

"It isn't easy in our complicated world to enjoy t

"It isn't easy in our complicated world to enjoy the pleasures of ordinary living - children, family, neighborhood, nature, walking, gathering, eating together. I imagine life not as an ambitious quest but as an anti-quest, a search for the ordinary and a cultivation of the unexceptional."

Thomas Moore

Imagine life if we spent it not in pursuit of extraordinary adventures but rather in uncovering the remarkable beauty of ordinary life.

#randomquote #ordinarylilfe #beautifulthings

Have we met? It's easy to exist in this space an

Have we met?

It's easy to exist in this space and assume that everyone reading your words knows all about you, forgetting that people often pop in and out or stumble on your posts randomly.

So, if you're new here or don't know much about who I am, here's a little background.

Why I write: Writing helps me to see the world around me more clearly. I consider writing a form of therapy for myself, but I began to share my reflections out loud, believing shared stories might encourage you in your journey.

Who I am: I am a preschool teacher, aka an early childhood educator; some of my favorite people are tiny humans.

I am a city girl who has fallen in love with the beautiful rhythms of nature. Inspired by the beauty of the world around us, on a journey to notice and cultivate beauty in every season.

I am an introvert passionate about gathering people in authentic community, preferably around a table. Reading, cooking, baking sourdough bread, and getting my hands dirty in the garden feeds my soul.

I reside in Eastern Kansas with my husband of thirty-two years and two rapidly growing boys. We were married for thirteen years and traveled a road of twists and turns before I was blessed to be called Mom.

In my mid-forties, I was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease, Multiple Sclerosis. While my writing is not explicitly focused on life with a chronic illness, it greatly influences my reflections.

While I may someday write a book, I believe that one does not need to write a book to create an endless ripple of hope. As Mother Teresa said, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

My Prayer is that you find ripples of hope in the words shared as we travel together through the unexpected and everyday ordinary moments of life.

And in this space, May you will always know you are so very loved and welcome here.

#randomreflection #introduction #whoami #ordinaryeveryday

In a world that moves at an accelerated rate and p

In a world that moves at an accelerated rate and prioritizes productivity and outcomes, adults are less inclined and even less capable of Wonder and Imagination.

With an emphasis on efficiency, reflection seems unprofitable and unproductive, so Wonder and Imagination get pushed aside and labeled for "Artists only."

Imagination is the process of developing ideas through our senses, feelings, memories, and thoughts. It is essential to our learning process and problem-solving.

Wonder is a sense of amazement and admiration, a curiosity to know more, to discover. It is a spark that lights the fire for lifelong learning.

Wonder and Imagination are not simply abstract ideas; they are not just luxuries for those with time or inclination toward creative thinking.

They are critical to personal development, deeper learning and understanding, and healthy engagement with complex social situations.

So many of us left our Wonder and Imaginations behind with our childhood, but;

What might the world look like if adults stopped seeing Wonder and Imagination as child's play and began seeing them as vital to our ordinary everyday rhythms?

What if? Sitting with our Wonder and allowing our Imagination to run wild is not a luxury but rather as vital to our health as the air we breathe.

"The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle." ~Einstein, 1949

#randomreflection #wonder #imagination #ordinarylife

“With intellectual curiosity the world will alwa

“With intellectual curiosity the world will always be full of magic and wonder.”
― Marjorie Hinckley

Magic and wonder are found in the ordinary, small, and simple, as well as on the extraordinary mountain tops.

@ben_marker Keep taking that natural curiosity as you climb new mountains.
Yet, never get so high that you forget to find wonder in the ordinary and small.

#seniorsunday #classof2025

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