The word gathering is defined by Merriam-Webster as assembly, abscess, collecting of food or raw materials from the wild, collection, or compilation. While technically correct, this definition does not express the depth of what gathering has the potential to achieve. And while the word gathering does not require a collection of people or food, I’ve come to believe that the best kind of gathering happens around a table in community with people.
As we lean into thanks and giving, our eyes become opened to the world of others, inspiring us to gather in community. It seems that during this season of Thanksgiving, our hearts naturally grow more thankful and generous, as we posture ourselves to be intentional in noticing the good, the beautiful, and the true things for which we are grateful. And what could be a more natural and relaxed space to gather than around the table?
In his book from tablet to table, author Leonard Sweet says, “As we sit and eat together, we don’t just pass food around; fellow diners pass bits of themselves back and forth as well, exchanging tales as well as condiments.” Perhaps it is, that gathering food and people at a table is the most beautiful and natural way to share stories, make memories, and build community.
As we enter into a season where gathering at the table is more common, we begin the process of inviting family and friends to join us at our tables. But, holiday seasons do not have to be the only reason or time we extend an invitation to gather. Did you know that even with our immediate family, time spent at the table has proven to have emotional, social, and physical health benefits? Over the past sixty years, we have gone from meal times at the table lasting as long as ninety minutes to eating in the car or in front of the TV, often eating alone in ten minutes or less. We have, it seems, become accustomed to quick and easy as a priority over meals to be savored and enjoyed in community. And with the decline of gathering at the table, we’ve also seen a decline in our overall health.
In her book, A Spacious Life, Ashley Hales talks about the impact of time-saving devices such as the instant pot and how these things have potentially reshaped our expectations. As I read this in her book, I was inspired to ask if perhaps we have forgotten that real life takes time, that cooking takes time?
But also, one might ask the question, have we turned mealtime into an individual sport? Instead of an opportunity to gather and connect over a shared meal?
Have meals become an act of function over enjoyment?
And, before you get distracted by excuses of lack of time or ability to prepare home-cooked meals, let’s not mistakenly assume that we must produce Master Chief quality food to gather together over a meal. While most of us can’t deny that we enjoy good food, what is considered good is subjective. For someone, the comfort of home tastes like macaroni and cheese, while it might be freshly grilled salmon for others. Food tastes are personal, containing memories and stories unique to each individual. The bottom line is that it is “better to eat simply together than eat haute food alone.” (Leonard Sweet) Shared meals together, gathering at the table is more about the time shared together than the specific foods we eat.
So as we enjoy gathering for special Holiday Occasions, might we also consider how to carry the concept of gathering into our everyday lives beyond the holidays?
In the memories we make and recall, in the stories we tell and retell,
Leonard Sweet
in the family recipes we eat and repeat,
there are things we learn at the family table we don’t learn anywhere else.
To read more reflections about Gathering at the Table, check out my guest post for The Wandering Hearth Holiday Series, here.
Also, my Hope*Writer friend @ronnerock has been writing all year about gathering. So if you are looking to glean more insight into the idea of gathering, Ronne is a beautiful friend to follow.
If you are a reader and want to learn more about the value of gathering at the table, grab yourself a copy of From tablet to table by Leonard Sweet. It won’t disappoint.
